Breathing Words

Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t value the ribbons and ornaments aspect of Christmas. I don’t send cards, rarely give presents, and hate those red plants. See, can’t even remember what they’re called right now. And don’t get me started on the non-stop Christmas music. I love Bing Crosby, but if I hear “Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer” one more time…

I think Christmas in Southern California brings out the worst in people. Seriously. People are much ruder and grumpier and impatient than they are at any other time of the year. All in an attempt to buy a bunch of material things for probably a bunch of people that they didn’t think too much about the other 11 months of the year. I wonder what the traffic collision statistics are like, because I certainly feel that people are more aggressive and reckless behind the wheel during this season. There was that thing in Glendale, although that was as much the pedestrians’ fault as the driver.

But Christmas is Christmas. It’s the birthday of Jesus Christ. And that’s something. (If you expected a sermon, go to church.)

Today, we’re going to a wedding. The groom, Joseph, is our associate pastor’s son and his bride, Fiona, complements him perfectly. They’re good people–compassionate, hard-working, and generous. Joseph’s parents married on Christmas Day as well. They’re so young (by today’s marrying standards) and have only been engaged just shy of nine months (compare that with T and I’s two-year engagement). But if anyone’s ready, they are.

I found out last week at a friend’s party that another friend and his wife met and got married after one month. They’ve been together eleven years, have two sons, and get along better than people who are just dating. That is a blessing. And they are only two years older than I am, so that means they married young as well.

Just to set the record straight, T and I aren’t having a prolonged engagement because of doubts or fears or any of that other stuff. We have very specific reasons for how and when we want to get married, and timing is an essential part of that.

Joseph’s father has expressed his concerns (he doesn’t actually even know that T and I are engaged) and wants us to get married as soon as we can. I don’t really understand why they’re (he’s not the only one… other adults have accosted me with “When are you guys getting married?”) so antsy about it. Do they think that if we wait too long, one of us will get disinterested and leave? But even if that were the case, isn’t it better that that happens out of marriage than in it? I know “children” is a big part of their concern. When I told Joseph’s parents that I didn’t plan to have children, they nearly choked on their lunch. Apparently, having children isn’t just for me, but for T because one day when he’s older and going through his mid-life crisis, it’ll be good for him to have children so that he can feel that he’s accomplished something greater than himself in this life. I see the valid point in that, but I also don’t think I should just go get hitched and knocked up by next year. Not to mention the fact (and mom and I talked about this) that I’m the only “child” in my mom’s fellowship who’s even remotely close to getting married. And we’re talking about at least 10 other kids who are my age (almost 29!) and not even dating. So why the pressure on me?

But I’m not worried or overly bothered. I just smile away their concerns and follow my own path. They’re older, and they speak out of love, even if they’re a tad annoying about it. They just don’t know the depth of T and mine’s relationship. I assume that they assume we’re just like other casual daters out there, that we don’t know what it’s like to make compromises for each other or sacrifice for each other. But we’ve gone through a lot together, more than just figuring out what to do on a date. We’ve been married, spiritually. We’ve worried about each others’ families. We’ve been angered by each others’ families. We’ve fought, we’ve forgiven, we’ve improved. We have a unique financial situation that we’ve discussed and worked out. We’ve discussed children, income, living arrangements. Of course there are things that are uncertain–there always are–but we have the security of knowing that we can work it out together.

I have faith in God, and so I have faith in everything else. My family and I have come a long way from October 2001 when Daddy died. We can survive anything. And I think our period of mourning is coming to an end. The next two years will change so many things. New homes, new lives, new paths. It’s time to thrive!

Merry Christmas!

I miss being small (ie. thin) like I was in my college days. It was much easier to find a comfortable bra because, well, the range and selection were limited.

Now, I could be 34D or 36B or 40A because the measuring method I found here doesn’t work quite right for me. What happened to 38?

I’m seriously confused. And of course, bra makers don’t all follow the same standards. Just like getting a good pair of jeans or shoes. No two sizes are the same, even if the number is same.

Many people tout Victoria’s Secret, and while I love their lingerie, their underwear is rather blah for me. They seem to be phasing out the silk and satin for that strange foamy material that looks like fondant. Miracle stuff, maybe, but sexy? No.

Plus, T’s been pressuring me for, oh, about three years now, to get matching bra and panties. How much work is that? But I still keep an eye out when I’m shopping so that I can at least claim to make an effort. The truth is though, that most matching bra and panties are either plain (neither one of us likes cotton undies) or impractical (who can wear bras with rhinestones and bows sewn all over them?) I discovered Elle McPherson’s collection at Nordstroms but alas, the fit was off. Calvin Klein has good bras, bad panties. DKNY has good panties, bad bras. On Gossamer has good thongs, bad panties, bad bras. See? How in the world am I supposed to find matching anything when the brands themselves can’t coordinate?

I should just go bra-less like the old days. I only wear them now because it’s so damn cold!

She came! She came!

And she had a surprise! Not only did she deliver the laptop we were expecting since Friday, but she had our PS3 for us too! Booyah!